November 13, 2021
by Tricia Osterholm
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Sharing my daughter’s story and my experience of losing her is very important to me. Parents who have lost a child often feel very alone, like no one understands what they are going through. There are commonalities with all types of losses, but the loss of a child has its’ own devastating components. By sharing my loss, I hope to offer encouragement to parents who are dealing with their grief.
One such challenge for those who have lost a child is how to answer the question “Do you have any children?” It’s an innocent question, often asked when you are just getting to know someone. I have struggled with that question and finally came to the conclusion that I must mention losing my daughter. I feel that I have to acknowledge her; I cannot leave her out as though she never existed. This may make some people feel uncomfortable, but it is the only acceptable option for me.
Just recently, my husband and I met a lady who asked this question. I gave her my prepared answer, “we have a son who is 25, and we lost our daughter 6 years ago.” She then shared about losing her nephew. I mentioned how we had been helped by the GriefShare program. It turns out she is a counselor, and hadn’t heard of GriefShare. I explained that on https://www.griefshare.org/ you can type in the zip code to find a list of churches and organizations in the area offering the program.
She thanked us for sharing, and said she had someone in mind that would benefit from the program. Just mentioning my daughter brought about the opportunity to provide a resource for a grieving person. I feel that by sharing openly about our loss, we will encounter others who might be in need of talking about their own loss.
“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us”. 2 Corinthians 1:4 (NLT)
