What to do with a loved one’s belongings after they have died is a dilemma, and there is no one size fits all solution. It is a very personal process and other people may not understand why it is so hard to part with even the smallest item that person owned. I find that it is not really the possession itself that matters, as much as the memories that are connected to that item.

I have held on to my daughter’s belongings because there is a great amount of fear that is stirred up when I consider letting go of her things. The fear borders on panic – that without that item, that memory will be gone forever. I know it’s not rational, but nothing about dealing with the loss of a child is rational.

Recently I took a small step of parting with a few of Kayln’s possessions. I felt like it was possible to try because of something my son had suggested – just take a picture of the item before you let go. I felt like this would be a good way to store the memories while still letting go of some items. So I gave it a try, and took pictures of a few items, then saved the pictures to a private board on my Pinterest account. I could also put those pictures in a photo album, but this was the quickest way for me to store the photos. Then when I want to reminisce I can easily access the photos and the memories associated with them.

This may not work for everyone, but it is one possible way of handling a difficult and emotional task. When I had done all I could handle for one day, I cried for a long time, but I felt a little better knowing that I could find a way to hold on to the memories.