Almost two years have gone by since losing Kayln, and still, random thoughts swirl around in my head about her every single day. I sit here with a cup of coffee and the laptop and try to put all these chaotic thoughts into a coherent framework to comprehend this loss. I fight against this arduous process, wishing to avoid the pain it stirs up. But avoidance does not remove the pain, it just relegates it to a corner of the mind where it festers and eventually comes out in unexpected ways – anger, anxiety, depression, exhaustion and other ailments. I must face this pain and work through it to obtain healing and peace.